My lovely New York editor sent me this telegram from the Viking archives, and it deserves re-posting as a reminder to all writers that it doesn't always go to plan and that even Dorothy Parker wrote entire chapters covered in the wrong words.

Will keep this in mind as I read my ms with a fresh eye, a few last notes on emphasis, and a hopeful heart.

In the meantime, we're back home at last, having sidestepped blizzards every step of the way, jetlagged and not knowing whether it's morning or night or which way is up. And would someone remind me why London at mid-day is so DARK?

New York, Maine, Boston, California...America is all so astonishingly beautiful. Just a few too many big fat creeps who (catching sight of our Obama bumper sticker) feel obliged to shout, "Obama! As endorsed by Osama Bin Laden!"

Shouldn't these people be up in the hills stockpiling spam and shooting Bambi?

Nevermind. I'd point out some of England's downsides now we're home, only it's too dark to see them.